I often think about when I was younger and our frequent family summer trips to Lake Michigan. I would always hope for waves big enough to climb into and ride all the way to shore. Beneath the surface, the water felt peaceful and exhilarating at the same time. With my eyes closed, I trusted the wave to carry me in—and every single time, it did.

Since the fall of 2016, there has been a series of traumatic events in my life. For a long stretch of time, it felt like just as I would catch my breath, another wave would hit.

The most significant of these events was my dad—my mentor in life—being diagnosed with and ultimately passing away from brain cancer on September 11, 2020.

And then came what felt like the final blow. In the winter of 2021, my dear friends Buck and Sheri lost their beautiful son, Tate, in the Oxford school shooting. I share this not to exploit their grief, but to honor the profound impact this event—and Buck’s words—had on my life. At Tate’s Celebration of Life, Buck bravely stood on stage and asked us all:

“What light will you carry into the world in Tate’s memory? What trait of his will you carry and allow to live on?”

As I drove home from Oxford, I was overwhelmed with grief and sorrow. It felt like grief grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. I wondered: How many more? How much more? And how will I handle the next big wave?

And then it became clear.

I had to change how I was experiencing the ebb and flow of life.

I am not alone in experiencing traumatic life events. No one has discovered a secret, constantly peaceful stream. Life moves in waves. The question Buck asked became my guiding force: What light will you bring from it?

For a long time, I fought the waves. I tried to stand up to them—facing them head-on, silently screaming, “You won’t take me down.” I held my breath, bracing for impact, convinced this one is going to be big.

Each wave knocked me over anyway—crashing down with force. Sand in my mouth. The wind knocked out of me. Angry. Anxious. In survival mode once again.

The ebb and flow didn’t care about timing or my wishes. It had its own rhythm, its own plan. The waves were coming whether I was ready or not.

It took me 50 years.
Six hundred months of living inside this ebb and flow.
Six hundred months to finally understand.

This is life. The ebb and flow will always be constant.

So now, I still stand in the water—but without fear.

I return to my childhood memory and turn my back to the wave. I lean in as I feel it reach my shoulder blades. I ride it to shore and trust it.

This is where the power is.

Wild. Free. Rising again after riding each wave fully to shore—knowing I cannot avoid it. I must feel grief fully, fear fully, joy fully, love fully… sometimes all at the same time.

When I reach the smooth beach, I pause. I catch my breath. I let the sunshine of opportunity warm my face. And something larger than me whispers so loudly my whole soul hears it:

“What are you going to do with this?”

“If you worry too much about what might be, and wonder too long about what might have been, you will ignore and completely miss what is.”

Let’s bring the light into this world and embrace what is.

Some Light from the Darkness

42 Strong – Foundation and Youth Mentorship Program
Bringing light to the world in memory of Tate Myre, #42 Strong
https://www.42strongtate.org
https://www.facebook.com/42strongtate
(Even if you don’t live near Oxford, you will be deeply inspired by this work.)

The James D. MacPhee Leadership in Community Banking Training Center
Lansing, Michigan — training future leaders in community banking in memory of Jim MacPhee

The Miracle League Field
Schoolcraft, Michigan — creating opportunities for everyone to experience joy through athletics
https://www.facebook.com/swmimiraclen

My New World

Online art workshops designed to calm, center, and bring clarity at any chapter of life

facebook.com/healingheartwork

https://www.instagram.com/healingheartworkonline/

Some Healing HeArtwork for You

I painted this piece in my watercolor journal using a mix of materials: watercolor paints (including one of my favorites—metallic gold), a white acrylic paint pen, a black fine-point pen, map paper from Michigan, text paper from an old book, and typewriter sticker letters.

An art journaling workshop will be offered soon.

Below are free online wave and water painting tutorials I thought you might enjoy. Use any materials you’d like—cut paper, watercolor, acrylic paint, colored pencils, pastels… you choose.

I encourage you to sit with it for a few minutes. Add your own style. Make it yours. There are no rules. Let yourself get lost in the flow of painting waves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_RizW9uoUY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RoGwIdGuTs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jISw-Gk4FF4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-LDUK-XhRM

With love,
Kim